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| Illustration: Keith Neigley |
TAKE IT FROM ME
Fear-Free Speech
Prepare. Go through your presentation three to five times—enough so that the talking points come to you readily. Practice in the real setting whenever possible.
Breathe like a baby. That is, deeply and slowly, so that your belly rises and falls. It will slow your heart rate, provide your brain with much-needed oxygen, center you psychologically, and help make your voice strong and authoritative.
Remember how low the stakes are. Public speaking is not a perilous adventure, no matter how much you may feel that it is. Even a failed presentation will rarely result in your being fired, demoted, or even seriously compromised in your job.
Don’t picture your audience in their underwear. Don’t speak to people’s foreheads, either. Such suggestions are remarkably unconstructive, because they take you away from the here and now, rather than helping you deal with it.
Get over yourself. Hey, what makes you think people are attending your presentation because of you? The truth is, they’re there because they hope to get something out of it. Understand that the audience is at the center of the entire public speaking dynamic. Imagine that the spotlight aimed at you is actually within you, and the warm glow of your knowledge and goodwill is bathing your listeners.
Common-sense Manager
Look before you delegate. Don’t assign tasks at random—asking your marketing whiz to help you with something that requires a detailed knowledge of your financial situation, for example. You could end up with a botched budget, and at the very least, you’ll be wasting Ms. Marketing’s talent and time. Instead, decide what skills and background a job requires, and then consider who can best deliver.
Be clear. Don’t over-rely on pep talks to get people going. Instead, make sure they understand what you want them to do, and what’s in it for them. Workers are much more motivated when they feel they have their work cut out for them.
Listen. Listening is difficult even in the best of times, and doing it well often takes extra effort. Part of the problem is that the brain works much faster than is required to process the words others are speaking. As a result, we can end up focusing on what we want to say next instead of really taking in what people are telling us.
How to Brag About Your Kids
Acknowledge your backstory. We often worry about rubbing a success in a struggling parent’s face. But most of our triumphs are born out of hard work. Give that backstory its due.
Celebrate your friends’ proud parenting moments. We all have different parenting sweet spots. When you brag about your champion-sleeper baby to a couple with perpetual bags under their eyes, be sure to share in their joy over how smoothly feeding is going for them. And for crying out loud, let them know you’re aware of what a drag sleep is for them right now.
Remember that your friend’s success is not your failure. When we see a friend succeeding where we’re struggling, it’s easy to feel like we’re parenting wrong. If you’re on the receiving end of a brag, try not to compare, and instead share your own victories. If you still feel bad, you can always say, “I’m so glad that approach worked for you. I still haven’t found the one that will work for me.” A good friend will remind you of what part of parenting you’ve nailed.
Add bragging to your gripe sessions. When parents get together, we tend to talk about the hard stuff. But true friendship is about sharing the good times with the bad.
Apps for Locavores
In Season (Light Year Software, LLC, $1.99). Find fresh produce in your area. The app also offers a guide for choosing fruits and vegetables and advice on storage practices.
Find Fruit (Neighborhood Fruit, LLC, $0.99). Locate fruit trees growing in public spaces near you.
Locavore (Hevva Corp., FREE). Get info on farmers markets in your community and collect recipes that use local ingredients.
Urban Farming Assistant Starter (iHuerting, FREE). What could be more local than your own garden? Set reminders for when to water, fertilize, and care for plants. The app also helps you find organic solutions to pests, diseases, and other gardening problems.
Food Community (Nommunity. com, FREE). Discover restaurants serving locally grown food.
HarvestMark Traceability (YottaMark, Inc., FREE). Scan any fruit or vegetable with the HarvestMark logo on it and learn what farm it came from.
Mother Earth News Library (Ogden Publications, Inc., FREE). More tips for those who wish to grow their own. Browse a virtual library that includes such important resources as How to Can, the Garden Insects Guide, and the Food Gardening Guide.
Wild Edibles (WinterRoot LLC, $7.99). With this app, you can learn to identify, harvest, and use wild edible plants.
WE NEED YOUR ADVICE. What are you an expert on? Share your life-enhancing tips with “Take It from Me” (tuftsmagazine@tufts.edu or Tufts Magazine, 80 George Street, Medford, MA 02155). If we publish your submission, you will receive $50.